Happy Monday Readers. It's been months since I did my last Tweetcycling post, and since I'm suffering through a small bout of
For those of you new to LIAYF since last November, This is the series where I give some of my little used humor tweets a second chance at life. You can read the first four installments here I, II, III, IV.
Sure, if you look down my right margin at my Twitter Bites widget you may have read many of these already, but come on, who really does that? Alright. Besides retired people, who really does that?
Anyway, you will find these tweets barely used and in decent condition.
4yo "Daddy's a big fan of Booze" My wife: "What!?" 4yo "Yeah, I jump out and scare him, and he laughs, laughs, laughs".
I wonder if Soylent Green Tea is full of auntieoxidents.
I am working on a sunless tanning method which would require nothing other than a rather large vat of Cheetos.
My wife just asked me if I knew what bunting was. Apparently she wasn't talking about baseball. Like I was supposed to know that.
My other cup of tea is a pint of ale.
Unfortunately, the two attractive beers I placed together in my fridge failed to reproduce. Maybe they were the same sex.
3yo: "Daddy, when I say 'to infinity' it means I have to go peepee. And when I also say 'and beyond' it means I have to go poop too"
My wife said she was looking for something mindless. "Where's the cat?" I asked.
Set down book Getting things Done to check twitter. Obviously I have a ways to go.
Got up from the dinner table earlier and did The Crane. Wife said 'What is wrong with you?"
Me in a parallel universe has a beer right now. Thinking of opening a door to there and stealing it.
For the next portrait I have painted of me, I'm going to wear a button up shirt so I can stick my hand in it. It's the cool thing to do.
He broke out the bin of dinosaurs tonight. I'm one giant strawberry from it being The Land of the Lost in my kitchen.
Installed flux capacitor on my Twitter. Oh no, here come the Libyans! Once I hit 88 char