Sadly, I don't have rock hard abs. I know, it's hard to believe but it's true nonetheless. However, if you were to take the time to dig a little deeper - perhaps just a few inches - you would undoubtedly find something made of a much stronger material. Steele. I'm referring, of course, to my stomach.
Mrs. LIAYF and I reside in two different camps when it comes to the food we serve in our household. She is borderline fanatic about making sure we are provisioned with only the best, and healthiest foods to prepare. Think organic, free range, low sodium. She keeps us stocked up on the good stuff and I am very appreciative of that.
I, on the hand, was raised on a farm and was leading a bachelor's life when I met my lovely wife. I'm pretty sure I could douse the carcass of a bloated rat with some Kikkoman's and call it a delicious meal. Who knows, there could have been times during my pre-nuptial days in which I unknowingly did just that.
The point is, I'm not picky. Or very discerning. But, being an equal partner in our household, I do my fair share of the grocery shopping. Usually, said shopping is accompanied by a list of which I rarely deviate. Unless I'm hungry at the time. Then there is no telling what I'll come home with. Most of this stuff gets shoved to the back of the fridge, or cupboard and forgotten about. That is until the next time we are cleaning out the cupboard, or the fridge.
Then the real fun starts.
Mrs. LIAYF is very literal when it comes to the dates they put on food packages. You pass that date, the food is getting tossed out. This, of course, drives me nuts. "These expired yesterday" she will say. At which point, not wanting to waste perfectly 'good' food, I will attempt to convince her that it is still good. I usually get a stern "Nope, not happening."
Any guesses who wins these debates? Bingo!
I remember one interchange recently where she was cleaning out the fridge and turned her gaze to an unopened jar of pickles. "These have been in here for a while." She proclaimed and started looking for a date on the jar. "They're pickled!" I exclaimed "How bad can they be?" at which point she pointed to the June 2007 date imprinted on the lid.
I muttered something under my breath about 'pickles not going bad', but had to admit she had me on that one.
The one incident that really hurt happened just the other day. I started frying up some brats I had bought at the store a few days before. She came in and looked at the package. "These say to only refrigerate for 3 days. When did you buy them?" "A couple of days ago." I replied.
"Uh, a few"
"More than three?"
It was at this point she started looking through our receipts to find out when I had purchased them. Honestly, I wasn't really sure but they looked good enough to me. And they were PORK sausages! So I went to look for the receipt myself to reassure her, but when I had returned she had composted them. "The thought of them being bad was making me queasy. I would never have been able to eat them."
We ate cheese and crackers that night. Grrr. But, I suppose I didn't get food poisoning either, so I can't be too hard on her. And I really do love that she ensures that we eat healthy most of the time.
I will, however, keep trying to convince Mrs. LIAYF that the labels are an approximation. That a Best By date doesn't mean something should be tossed out. Take me for instance. My Best By date probably says Age 32, but I'm not rotten. Well, most of the time anyway.
And, I'm certainly not expecting to be tossed out anytime soon.