Thursday, January 29, 2009

Invest in this GM Right Away

Hey there all. Want a sure fire stock tip in these turbulent economic times? Well, turn your attention away from the sage advice of Warren Buffet for just a few moments, and I will let you in on a little golden secret.

General Mills.

While everyone else is out there trying to salvage what is left of their Golden years by dabbling in energy, tech, and coffee shares, I plan on making a killing in cereal. Why cereal? Because friends, the smart investor will buy what he sees flying off the shelves. And personally, I see cereal.

Specifically, Corn Chex and Cheerios. They are a hot, hot commodity in my sphere and thus I predict the stock prices will soon soar.

These days we are feeding Lukas volumes of these little circles and squares. So much so, that other parents in our Seattle neighborhood could find the shelves bare on their next trip to the local market. Ok, so he is not eating all of this cereal. But he does like to take a snack cup with him wherever he goes filled with his favorite breakfast gorp (we also add raisins and cranberries).
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What makes it go so much faster is that when dad or mom are not looking, he enjoys ripping off the lid and tossing all that cereal around said location (usually the back seat of the car) like crispy confetti. Yet, we keep filling the cup back up like the suckers that we are. Naturally, this leads to a back seat full of sticky cereal, and an obvious conundrum
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(Why do these cursed birds keep following me?)
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With no time to keep up on the important things, much less cleaning this otherwise hidden mess up, how do we reconcile looking at this crunchy mess during each trip to the car seat?
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Let's just say that a quick swipe or two leaves me with a clean conscience and a satisfying knowledge that our feathered friends scattered all over the city are nestling down to sleep that night with a full tummy. At times I amaze myself with my benevolence.

Now get online and by some General Mills stock, pronto!

7 comments:

Super Mega Dad said...

Man, I can SO relate to this.

I gave up cleaning up the back of my car LONG ago. Now, anytime we open one of the kids' doors we're always leaving trails of stale crackers and fruit snacks everywhere we go. We keep whole colonies of little critters well fed during around our travelling routes.

Being us... said...

WOW are you spying on Jacob and I??? Those are his favorite (with an occasional box of Honey Nut Cheerios thrown in) and I too mix dried fruits in to feel like he is getting something more nutritious. I usually find the lost and forgotten cereal bits in the car seat or when I lift him out at our destination, cereal will fall all over the parking lot!

Xbox4NappyRash said...

My car is like that now and I don't have any kids!

1sttimedad said...

You know what I hate ... the Cheerios smell. Soggy Cheerios makes me gag, and that was all The Hurricane smelled like for months. Thankfully, she's more of a Goldfish fan now, and they don't give off a soggy, disgusting stench.

Ed (zoesdad) said...

I am comforted to know that I am not alone any more.

Scary Mommy said...

You are SO right!!!!! Wish I'd gotten on board a few years ago.

James said...

@Super Mega Dad - PETA should give us a special award of recognition.

@Being Us - Birds must flock to parking lots at night. Especially the ones I frequent.

@Xbox - At least NOW I have an excuse.

@1sttimedad - Yeah that is an awful smell. Corn chex smell much better.

@Ed - We are not alone. I should start a support group.

@Scary Mommy - Now is the perfect time to jump right in.