In a bold move designed to lift our family out of the running for the title of Most Boring Family Ever, Mrs. LIAYF decided to take some friends up on an offer to do a girls night out Saturday, leaving Lukas and I home alone. While she was out painting the town red, the Rock Star type Par-tay that I was envisioning for Guys Night In ran into some early snags. Not the least of these was Lukas forgetting to stop and pick up the cigars and beer. Doh!
In all seriousness though, things were complicated from the outset by the fact that the girls were meeting at 6:00 PM. This meant that it was up daddy to get Lukas bathed and to bed. I don't imagine this would be too big a deal for most parents of a 17 month old, but since we had been taking the whole boring thing so seriously, this is the first actual night that Mrs. LIAYF has intentionally left it to me to get Lukas to bed on my own. (I wasn't joking about the boring thing)
I had put Lukas to bed on my own once before. This happened when Mrs. LIAYF was held up at work, and that went rather swimmingly as Luke curled right up and went to sleep, no questions asked. In my demented sort of parental calculus, that one instance several months ago added up to "No problemo. Piece of cake. Been there, done that".
I was never strong at math.
This time around was met with a stark and rather immediate realization on Lukas' part that "Things ain't right here! Where's Mama? You have no BOOBIES!"
Still, I have to hand it to the little guy, as he gave it an early college try. After I put him down in the crib, there was about 15 minutes of silence, time where I was wiping my brow and rather pleased with myself for deftly navigating what could have been a very upset, and very unsatisfied little boy.
Then the cries started. Muffled at first, but then much louder. Sticking to our trusted routine, I waited the mandatory 10 minutes, then went to tell Luke it was "night-night time", calming him before leaving the room. I repeated this a couple of times to no avail, before abandoning that and trying to spend some extra time in his room trying to put him to sleep.
That didn't work either. So I returned to the comfort him, leave the room strategy. He would fall asleep intermittently for longer stretches, leaving me thinking he was out for good, but then wake up upset once again. Nerve wracking stuff, which left me with my trigger finger on the Talk button, ready to call home the reinforcements. I held off though, which was for the best.
After a while Lukas tired out and went to sleep, with me still completely on edge-hoping that it would last. In the end I survived, and Lukas is no worse for wear. But without beer, cigars, or television I am only left here to blog about it all while Mrs. LIAYF enjoys a much deserved night out.
Boring is as boring does.