The Daddy Chair

"SILENCE!!!!"

"Bruuuuuthaaa...?"  she says to him in a deep, low, and gravely voice not often encountered in a 6 month old baby girl.

"Yes, Annabelle?" Lukas replies, by now fully accustomed to communicating with her this way.  "I love you Bruuuuuthaaaa!" she lets him know. "You....and the big people.  You know, the ones who feed us."

"You mean Mom and Dad, Annabelle" Lukas corrects her.  "Yes, Bruuuthaaaa" she replies.

And so it goes, back and forth nearly every night.  Silly banter between the two of them which only takes place when Annabelle is hooked up to The Daddy Chair.  Being hooked up, as it were, usually only takes place when I am carrying her around, in one arm.

It was quite an amazing discovery when we learned that our infant girl could actually talk through me, her father, when sitting in my arms like that.  And talk she does, quite a bit.  She tells us tales of arriving here from a place called Babylandia, where babies ride giant cats, never get old, and eat strange fare.

She also tells us of all her wild adventures there, and the fact that she was an heir to the throne of that land before she chose to take a hiatus and claim a family in our realm.

It's all quite bizarre.

She can even be pretty sassy at times when she is contradicted by one of us.  She doesn't like that, and will often shout out "SILENCE!" in a very deep and authoritative voice.

But we all just laugh at that, because we know it's pretty absurd.

I actually think that Annabelle being able to talk to us has helped Lukas transition to having a baby sibling.  It gives him the chance to talk to her about all kinds of things, and for her to thank him for helping her out when she needs his assistance - like when he hands her items that she has dropped and can't pick up herself.  It has helped them bond as brother and sister.

I'm not sure how long Annabelle will communicate with us through The Daddy Chair, probably until she can learn to talk on her own in this new land.

But until then, we will continue to laugh at her silly stories, soak in her absurd tales of adventure, and teach her how things work in our land - which in many ways is much different than it is in Babylandia.

And all the while I'll be carrying her around, propped up in one arm facing out.  A perfect position for conversation.

Nailed it.

When I arrived home tonight, after a particularly long day, Lukas came running from the kitchen and jumped into my arms, giving me a huge hug and a kiss.  I instantly felt better.  Instantly!  It was exactly what I needed after being at work for 12 hours.

Honestly, it has been difficult for me to even think about posting here recently for various reasons.  But during those times when life's treadmill becomes a bit overwhelming and I've had long, exhausting, and mentally draining days (like today for instance), there is one thing above all that lifts my spirits.

I saw the following video posted over at How to Be a Dad tonight and knew instantly that I had to share it.  It inspired me to break out of the posting doldrums.  Please take a minute of your busy day to give it a view.  You'll be happy you did.

It pretty much nails what it feels like to be a dad.

Sibling Revelry

revelry [ˈrɛv^əlrɪ]

n pl -ries

noisy or unrestrained merrymaking

I'm pretty sure that all those times when Lukas thought of having a sibling to play and share experiences with, and when he asked Mrs. LIAYF and I when he was finally going to have one, he wasn't exactly thinking of a baby sister who was 5 years younger than him.  Rather, I know for a fact that when his mother and I talked to him about our initial plans for adoption a couple of years ago, he was pretty darn excited at the possibility of getting a little brother who was closer to his age (We considered adopting up to age 3).  

He really wanted someone he could share all of his cool toys with, and teach all the important things in life to, like Lego's and Star Wars and Rockets and, well Lego's. Read: a brother.

There was even a moment, shortly after he had been introduced to his tiny little sister Annabelle, when he mentioned quietly that he was..."Hoping for a brother".  

As a parent that was a little tough to swallow at the time.  Especially since one of the big reasons we wanted #2 was for his benefit.  To enrich his life.  But honestly, and to our relief, that was the last negative comment we have heard from Lukas about his sister.  And that was in the first day or two.  6 months have passed since.  6 months of Annabelle being a newborn - with all the typical newborn struggles and family adjustments.

I'll reiterate that point.  There hasn't been one negative peep about his sister since that day!

In fact, since that initial comment Lukas has been nothing short of an amazing big brother to Annabelle.  AMAZING!  He absolutely adores her.  When she cries, he is always the first person to run to her aid, offering a bottle or pacifier, or just to distract her with his goofy antics, often dancing around and singing to her.  And all this while he is smiling broadly and bursting forth with unconstrained laughter.  

In short, he really loves his little sister.  And the feeling is mutual too.  His is the first face she will lock onto when we all enter a room where she is, and a tiny smile is often sure to follow.  Their interactions are seriously fun, and heartwarming to watch and I can easily envision that as they grow up together, with the 5 year age gap, that she will follow him around like a little groupie, wide eyed and absorbing all that he can teach her - including the finer points about Star Wars and Lego's and Rockets.

I can also envision that Lukas will act as her protector, shielding her from much unnecessary pain.  He is so good even now, at 5 years, of helping out smaller kids, both those he knows as well as strangers who are having a difficult time be they hurt or scared or lost, or just getting knocked down on the playground.  

Annabelle is a very lucky girl to have a brother who is so loving and empathetic.  

Of course, he will benefit greatly from having her around too.  He already has.  Every day it is so terrific to watch as his face lights up when they play together, and to see him rushing down the stairs in the mornings, jumping out of bed when he realizes I am leaving with her for daycare, so he can kiss her goodbye.

I know it's still early with the two of them, and that there will surely be strife in their relationship as they grow up together.  But for now, Mrs. LIAYF and I couldn't be happier at how our kids, a boy and a girl with a 5 year age gap, have lovingly bonded with each other.

It seems silly now that we were ever even concerned about such matters.

Mountain Biking at 5 101

Well, hello there readers.  I know, I know....it's been a while since I posted anything here.  I'll just say in my defense that it's been busy.  Real busy.  Thanks for all the emails though - asking how I was doing, and if everything was okay.  I'm touched that you care.

Alright, scratch that - since no one has actually asked.  But I know you were wondering, somewhere back in the far reaches of your mind, and that is enough for me.

As I mentioned, it has been busy, but thankfully I did have a couple of days off with Lukas this past week for Spring break.  And with Annabelle now in daycare and doing quite well there, and Mrs. LIAYF back at work,  it was a perfect opportunity for Lukas and I to spend some quality time together.

Those few days we spent hanging out were something different for us too, as we have had precious few days previously where it was just he and I doing something alone together. Before Annabelle we always did things as a threesome.

But now things are different, and I have to say that those days this week meant a lot to me. Lukas and I have always been very close, but the time we spent hanging out together this past week allowed us to bond in a seemingly whole new way.  And I loved it.

What did we do?  Lots of different things really, including hiking and beach combing, a trip to the arcade, and zip-lining at a local park.  But I also took him to do something he has been wanting to do for quite some time: Mountain, or off road, biking.  Here is a short clip I took on a mostly flat portion of the trail we rode.  It did get a bit more difficult.

We chose Pioneer Park nearby for our inaugural ride.   He was a real trooper, even though it really wore him out riding over and through non paved surfaces, up and down hills most of which were small.  We did get a chance, however, to go down some long downhill runs which he absolutely loved. And so did I.  

This was a lot of fun.   I can't wait until Lukas is a bit older and we can try some more challenging rides where we wont have to walk our bikes up the steeper hills. Luckily, there are an abundance of great biking trails in the Seattle area for all skill levels.

But for now,  this outing was just perfect.

The Ultimate Parent Driving Machine

Not our car.

We made it a whole year and a half but it didn't seem that long. Had circumstances been different, we proabably would have been able to continue like that for much longer.

1 1/2 years.  That's how long the LIAYF household was a one car household.   Let me tell you, with 2 full time working parents and two small children there were certainly times when a second set of wheels would have come in handy.  Many times.

However we managed without too many instances of pleading to friends or neighbors to help us out in a pinch.  But with Annabelle set to go into full time care soon, and Mrs. LIAYF going back to work after her Maternity Leave, it was the right time for us to once again have two cars at our disposal.

With all that in mind, I found myself on Saturday afternoon at a Seattle area BMW dealership, in the midst some very beautiful cars, most with lofty price tags.  Any one of them would have fit the bill nicely, providing Mrs. LIAYF and I a safe and reliable option to shuttle the kids around Seattle for the next several years.  But we actually came to this dealership with a specific vehicle in mind, and thankfully no one had snatched it up before we arrived.

When the salesman came to greet us upon our arrival, I asked if, in fact, the protagonist in the great novel 'The Art of Racing in the Rain' was a car salesman at a Seattle BMW dealership.  I thought I remembered it that way.  "I'm not sure" he responded as he handed me the keys "But you are about to find out".  Just then I felt the first rain drops landing on top of my head.  So, we hopped in and took the car for a spin.  It drove very nice, and met our satisfaction. It was exactly what we were looking for, so we decided to make him an offer.

Later, at some point during the very long and drawn out process of negotiating the purchase price of the car, I was in the waiting area of this beautiful facility, watching some college basketball when I spied a boy who looked about Lukas' age.   He was also missing front teeth.  His mother was nearby, and when she approached I asked how old her son was, which is always a nice conversation starter among parents.

After confirming that he was about the same age, the mom asked if I was there to buy a car.   I let her know that, yes we were buying a car since we had a new infant in the house who was about to go into daycare.

Her eyes brightened at that.  "Which one?!" she asked, smiling at me.  I'm a little slow so it took me a second to realize she didn't mean daycare, but rather - which of the shiny new vehicles surrounding us I would be taking home with me.  "Well...." I responded "I am actually buying a used car today."

"Get out!" she smiled  "My husband is the used car manager here.  He brings home different models for me to drive all the time!  But that's not why I married him!" she laughed out loud.

I nodded, now feeling a bit uncomfortable.  Perhaps she could sense that, because she immediately tried to put me at ease.  "Used cars are nice too." she let me know with a slight touch of sympathy in her voice.  "Yes, that's true" was my rather concise response.

"Because" she continued "The BMW models don't really change from year to year.  So it's almost like you are buying a new model".  That made sense I reasoned.   However, I simply smiled and nodded some more, looking for a way to extricate myself from the conversation, which mercifully came in the form of the salesman returning to negotiate some more with me.

Why was I so relived to be out of that conversation?  Because I didn't have the heart to tell her that I was actually there to buy a Honda.  A 10 year old Honda at that.

And, based on our conversation, I'm not too sure she would have appreciated the fact that it had low miles, was being offered well below blue book, and that our mechanic mentioned that it was one of the most reliable models of all the cars he saw coming into his shop.

Maybe wrongly, but I thought that would have been lost on her.  Sure, it would have been nice to drive away in a shiny new BMW. But with two young kids in private care, this driving machine was about as Ultimate as we could afford right now.

It's nothing fancy, but our new Honda is the perfect car for our family right now.

 Plus, It would be a shame to dirty up the back seats of a brand new Beamer with a bunch of food crumbs anyway.

Baby Girl Farts: Tis The Wind and Nothing More?

I fart a lot....but I'm cute.

I have to say I 'm astonished, ASTONISHED, at how much my infant farts.

She fart when she cries.  She farts when she laughs.  She farts when she eats.  She farts when we change her.  In fact the other day while she was naked on changing table, Mrs. LIAYF turned her on her belly for a bit of tummy time and said "Look at that cute little bummy!" while giving her a gentle pat on the behind.

Then, as I leaned in close to take my look, she ripped one off right at me.  I swear I felt it graze the side of my head as it passed by.  It was one of those loud, butt cheeks flapping together ones too.  It was impressive and of course made both Mrs. LIAYF and I loose our sh$t laughing (pun intended).

I suppose 5 years later I have probably just forgotten how much gas babies have building up in their systems, but I honestly don't remember Lukas ripping off air biscuits quite like Annabelle does.

Or, perhaps I just took it as a given for a baby boy.  I'm sure I probably proudly told everyone within earshot "Oh yeah, that's my boy!" with a chuckle after my little guy would Blow his Bun Bugle as an infant.  Really though, I just don't remember it.

But come on, this is my little girl.  My adorably cute little girl!  Something is not right here.  No one told me that baby girls fart a lot, and LOUDLY too.   Honestly though, I'm not sure exactly what I expected from a girl.  I know they fart.  Everyone does.

I guess I just assumed with a girl there would be a barely audible flapping sound with no wind whatsoever.  And that the room would smell....well....better than it did before said cheese was sliced.

Maybe even like Potpourri.

Imagine my surprise then to be hit in the face, if you will, with the reality that my baby girl rips them off like a regular at a local chowder house.  Like a long haul trucker whose diet consists of coffee and microwave burritos.  Sometimes it even sees like she is making a fist and pumping her arms when it happens.  But I suppose I could be imagining that.

Right now, I'm even afraid her first complete sentence might be "Pull my finger Daddy".

I'm blaming it on the formula..  After all, Lukas was breast fed so maybe that's actually why I don't remember him having that much gas.  At least that is what I'm hoping.

All kidding aside, we do everything we can to ease our little Jelly B's comfort.  Including adding Simethicone, a bubble reducing additive, to each of her bottles.  We are seeing the results too, with less times that she seems to be in pain from her gas bubbles.  But for now it hasn't reduced the farts.

So, help me here folks.  Reassure me.  Tell me that when girls get older, it gets better.  That it's a rather quick transition between this and being very discreet about breaking their wind, as most adult of the female persuasion I know are.

Tell me this readers, because including myself and Lukas we already have plenty of championship lever farters residing in our house.

We don't need the additional competition.

The Year of Sleeping Dangerously

Holy Crap I'm tired.

A co-worker actually said to me the other day "Man, you look tired."  To which I replied "I'm 45 with an infant.  It's not a look!"

Sleep? With a Bear after me?  Yeah, right.

And when I say tired, I mean falling off my bar stool tired.  Literally.

The other night I actually tried to sit right here on my hard bar stool in front of my computer and think of something to post about, after Mrs. LIAYF and I had successfully put the kids down to sleep for the night.  I knew I was wiped out, but I had no idea just how much.  As Mrs. LIAYF started to talk to me about our upcoming decision on where to put Lukas for school in the Fall, I could feel my eyes getting heavy.  I tried to fight it, but was not having a lot of success. Mrs. LIAYF noticed too.  "Honey!" she implored   "Are you that tired?"

I didn't get a chance to answer, as the next thing I knew I could feel myself falling sideways off the stool.  It's been several years since I've fallen off a bar stool.  And never before  because of exhaustion.  Luckily, I caught myself on the way down and didn't actually hurt myself.  But yes, I WAS that tired.

How many of you remember having an infant in the house?  For those of you who don't, does that whole period remain a bit fuzzy in your memory?

I know there are those very vocal people who brag that their infants sleep 10-12 hours through the night by the time they are 2 weeks old.  I have a theory about these people.  They are liars.  Lying, liars all of them.  And if they aren't lying, I'm sure that they've made deals with the Devil.  Seriously, what else can explain their good fortune?

But for the rest of us, that first year with an infant is fraught with sleep peril.  Most of you with kids may remember this, but for those of you who do not, or who may have forgot, let me give you a typical night in the LIAYF household these days.

7:00 Put Annabelle to bed
8:00 Put Lukas to bed
8:30 Lukas calls from the stairs that he is hungry
9:00 Annabelle wakes up screaming.  Soothe her, and try to get her back to sleep.
9:30 Lukas calls from the stairs that he is scared of something.
11:00 Annabelle wakes hungry.  I feed and change her.
12:00 Mrs. LIAYF and I go to sleep
2:00 Annabelle wakes hungry.  I give her the pacifier.
3:00 Annabelle wakes hungry.  Mrs. LIAYF feeds her.  I lay awake and listen.
4:00 Lukas enters our room, having had a bad dream
4:30 I carry Lukas back to his room and put him back to bed.
5:00 I get back to sleep.
6:10 My Alarm goes off.  I get up and stumble down the stairs to get ready for work.
6:30 Annabelle wakes.  I walk upstairs and give her a binky.
7:00 I leave for work.
7:30 Annabelle and Lukas wake for the day.

This schedule is not horrible.  For a couple of nights that is.  But once you start stacking them on top of each other, night after night, it seriously starts to wear you down.  Then, before you know if you're apt to have a cold that you can't seem to shake.  And, if you add to that a stressful job, by the time your workday is done you can be seriously tired.

Yes, falling off a bar stool tired.  That's where I have found myself recently.  This goes for Mrs. LIAYF too, who is off work right now but then has to deal with a whole new set of sleep issues with Annabelle during the day all while shuttling Lukas to and from school and swimming.   We can only imagine what it will be like when she goes back to work full time next month.

But hey, Annabelle is already 4 months old.  It seems like just yester.... Okay, who am I trying to kid?  The last 4 months have seemed like a year.  At least.

But if history tells me anything, it's that 5 years from now I won't quite remember how tired I really was.  Er....am!

I need a time machine.

Makin' Banana Pancakes

I got up early this morning and made breakfast for the family.  Today I made Banana Walnut Pancakes with scrambled eggs and fresh fruit.

Not that this is anything unusual for a weekend at Casa LIAYF.  I make this same breakfast at least once every single weekend.  Sometimes more than once.  There have even been three and four day weekends where we loaded up on tasty hotcakes - slathered with peanut butter and either honey, jam, or syrup - each of those mornings.

In fact, I'm pretty sure that one of the enduring memories Lukas will have of childhood will be eating banana pancakes for breakfast - and sharing laughs.  To this day I still remember the plate sized pancakes my own father used to make for us when I was growing up on the farm.

One of the laughs Lukas and I share takes place about the time the first pancakes are about to come off the griddle.  Ever since he could understand me, I would call out loudly "Who wants the biggest Pancaaaaaake!?"  to which Lukas will always respond "I DO!!!"  I'll sometimes fake like I am trying call for the biggest pancake.  But he always beats me to the punch.

Every. Time.

Then, resigned, I will always find a mirco-cake that is the product of a drip from the larger cakes batter gone awry.  I will scoop it up and take it over to him - his nose usually buried in a Lego creation - and present it to him.  "Here's your biggest pancake" I'll deadpan, then feign utter amazement when it disappears in one quick bite.

Then we'll both share a laugh.

Of course I'm not really sure how long my 5 year old love of a boy will continue to humor me in this particular game, or for that matter how long he will continue to want home-made pancakes every single weekend morning.

But until he doesn't, I'll continue to freeze my ripe bananas, stock up on walnuts, and keep plenty of peanut butter and syrup on hand for weekend mornings - and serve up heaping helpings of them.  Always with a smile.

You know, I really hope this never ends.


image credit

Wordless Wednesday: Baby Baby Bear

When you don't have time to write a real post
It helps to have a cute baby lying around in a pink bear suit.

Lance, A-Rod, & Me

Readers, I have a confession to make.  I'm a user of PED's.

I'm admitting this now because I'm sure that this would have all be made public in time anyway.  After all, my name is on a spreadsheet somewhere in the back office of a Seattle office building.  And there have been emails, free samples, and even punch cards.  Plus, I'm sure I have been spotted in some rather conspicuous locations around the city, getting my fix.  People would have started putting 2 and 2 together soon enough.

My hope though, is that the stigma of using these PED's won't be long lasting.  That people will actually understand that when it comes to being a great at this game, it's better to be free of aches and pains - and also alert, than to drop the ball when everything is on the line!

It wasn't always this way though.  After a long career in the minors, I was just a couple of months shy of 40 when I finally made it to The Show. I was certainly excited to be here, but also a bit nervous about what I was about to face on a daily basis.  After all,  I had heard countless stories of how difficult the big leagues could be.  "You may think you know what you'll face in the coming months....but you can never adequately prepare yourself for the kind of stuff some of these kids will throw at you." a common one went.

Looking back now, I'll be the first to admit they were absolutely right.

Fresh out of camp back then I started with a hot streak, hitting on all cylinders. Things seemed to come naturally to me, and I thought to myself  "THIS. This is what I was worried about?"

But then day 2 arrived......and I quickly realized I was facing some REAL big league challenges.  Challenges that my natural abilities, now diminished by the relentless plodding of time, couldn't help me overcome on their own.

That's when I started taking these Parent Enhancing Drugs in increased doses .  So I could survive in this show. No, I wasn't proud of my actions, but I knew it was a far superior alternative to failing miserably in a crucial game situation.

And now, nearly 6 years later, thanks to these 'supplements' I have survived and am still in the big leagues. But once again I'm facing many of the same challenges I did back when I broke in.  And, as a result, at the seasoned age of 45 I have started juicing and popping the pills in larger doses than ever.  Of course, I wish I didn't have to rely on these aides, but let's face it - it's a young man's game.

And I will do what ever it takes to stay on top of it.

Daily juicing - a necessity for this Dad!

Detectable in a urine sample?

My hope is that when my career is finally over, and it's time for people such as yourselves to vote deserving dads into the Parenting Hall of Fame, they will find it in their hearts to overlook my use of such performance aides and vote for me solely on my merits as a dad. Yes, that is my hope.

Thank you for hearing me out.  Now, if you'll excuse me I have to make myself a fresh pot of enhanced parenting.